Principal's Message

Dear Parents, Staff and Students,

With the term coming to an end, there is so much to look back on. Our students and staff have worked very hard throughout the past few months and their efforts are much appreciated. There have been many successful excursions, camps and events. These were all communicated to the Sirius family through our newsletters.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS ACCUSED OF BULLYING

What should parents do when their child is accused by another parent of being a bully? The first step is always to work closely with us at school. We are experienced in working with students and helping them manage their behaviour.

What can you do?

• Take a deep breath. It’s normal to experience a mixture of shame, denial, panic and defensiveness. Remember this is a description of behaviour that your child is exhibiting today, it is not who they are in their entirety, nor who they will be forever, if you respond and get help.
• Focus on staying calm and listening to what’s being said. If the other parent is upset, assure them that you’re writing down the details so you’ll remember them correctly. If tempers boil over, say you’ll phone back later.
• Take time to process the information. Once you have the information, take time for yourself to process how it makes you feel, so that when you approach your child, you are calm and in control of your own emotions.
• Talk with your child. The goal is to get the facts – a calm, non-judgmental discovery process. Do you know what they are talking about? What happened? Is any of it true? Stay calm and make it safe for your child to tell the whole story. Explain that whatever happened, you are going to help resolve the situation.
• Be the grown-up. “Can you help me see why the other kid sees it their way?” you might ask. “How would you feel if he did that to you?” Try to understand the antecedents – insecurity, anger, teasing, peer dynamics, or something going on at home.
• Teach your child responsibility. Even if your child swears the other child started it, they are responsible for owning their contribution. Let your child know you are going to make sure it doesn’t continue. Help your child make amends, (often best done with the school counsellor). The school can be of help here as problems rarely happen in isolation and may have already surfaced at school. • Give your child social-emotional tools. Teach face-saving ways to deal with conflict and how to avoid escalating drama, like walk away, tell a teacher.
• Get help. This should include contacting the school or, in serious cases, getting a professional evaluation of the child to identify possible anxiety, depression or inability to read social cues.
• Support growth and change. The best message is that life is full of opportunities to reinvent ourselves if we are willing to do the hard work of owning our mistakes, understanding the feelings and behaviours involved and getting new strategies for developing new and better behaviours.

Acknowledgement: “What to Do If Your Child Is a Bully?” by Catherine Steiner-Adair in The Wall Street Journal, Nov 18, 2013. Sourced from Principals’ Digest, Newsletter Volume 20, Number 44

I wish you all a great time with your families.

Kind Regards,